Looking Back- "The Game"

A simple thanks to the person who had a great infuence on me. A caring and loving person and most of all I admired him for his work...his writing...expressing his feelings and thought through writing. Without him I probably would continue to excel in areas that I am not good at-WRITING!

Though I have not reach my goal yet as far as writing is concern nevertheless, I am gradually improving...

To you, thanks for changing the course of my life in a positive way...I will always remember you...

Looking back...this is how it started...

Thursday, October 06, 2005 8:15 AM
He said: I haven't kicked your butt in Chess for a while If you have time this evening I think it will be fun! I don't have to go into work until Midnight so I have all evening. Let me know! I should be in my __if not at dinner

Thursday, October 06, 2005 8:15 AM
She said: hey, how about tomorrow or the next day. hectic schedule today Promise tomorrow...OK?

Thu, 6 Oct 2005 08:18:02 -0700
He said: You mean you wont stand me up like with dinner? :( Tomorrow sounds fine...Be ready for me to kick your butt though! :}

Thursday, October 06, 2005 10:38 AM
She said: HA-HA-HA.....will see...

Fri, 7 Oct 2005 05:43:39 -0700
He said: hope you are prepared for the monumental BUTT WHIPPIN your gonna get tonight! Just a friendly reminder :)

Friday, October 07, 2005 10:54 AM
She said: ...come and get me.......

"Fri, 7 Oct 2005 13:13:28 -0700
He said Come and get you???....Did you say...Come and get you??? Girl! Its on now!
Even though I had to beg you to stay tonight because I am a nice a guy and wanted you to feel good after I let you win!

Okay MISSY! Game on Now! You name the time and Place! Name your "game"...I'll be there... Whatever you desire, We'll see who gets who.. :)

Fri, 7 Oct 2005 21:38:40 -0700 (PDT)
She said: Talk, talk, talk...yes it feels really good to win!...I have to repraise "come and get me"...my mistake. What I meant was I'm in for any game, you know game...a game. Please do not misunderstood this one.

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 06:09:25 -0700
He said: That is what I was talking about...A Game...What were you thinking???
I will be in the ___some of tonight photograghing them. "come Get me" If you want to play. :)..A game.

Sunday, October 09, 2005 3:39 PM
She said: I am going to stay late at work tomorrow. Sorry I will not be able to walk with you tomorrow Did you ask ____if he wants to go with you? If there any changes on my schedule tomorrow I let you know OK?..Have a good night...

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 12:17:53 -0700
He said: Standing me up again huh...Makes me want to cry :).

If you do make it out early and want to do a quick walk or game Let me know by email or something. I will be up till at least 1:00 or so. If not I'll understand if you don't want to hang around me anymore...I know how embarrassing I can be and how I give you an ICKY feeling inside. That I can be obnoxious (wow I actually spelled that right) and overbearing, I sometimes smell too, but I cant help that.

No, I don't blame you at all! In fact if I were you, I would never even acknowledge that I exist. I would just turn my head away as if I was never there, and after all I deserve that, I deserve much worse. No , I don't blame you..

Just do me one last little favor if you so desire...If I may beg of you for this...I just want you to remember that one time in some small way, that I...I...Oh never mind...Its too much. To ask you to even remember me in some small insignificant way may be too much, Just turn and run now I wont blame you at all.

Just make it quick, I hate long goodbyes... I do wish that I was different so you wouldn't hate me so much, but its okay I do understand...If you were to ever see me again in some distant future, time, or place I will do my best to go the other way so you wouldn't have to deal with the anger all over again. or make up anymore excuses to avoid me...Its okay.

Monday, October 10, 2005 2:34 PM
She said: What are you talking about? Of course I still want to hang with you. You are very special to me. Next I will be available but not this week too many things going on OK? I promise... so cheer up! You are such a baby!

Mon, 10 Oct 2005 22:50:14 -0700
He said: :)

Wed, 12 Oct 2005 14:36:26 -0700
He said: I see I've been replaced... Its okay, I don't blame you... I guess I was never around enough. So you strayed to another, I didn't give you the attention you needed. I didn't let you win ALL the games. I didn't have enough hair...Whatever it is, I guess I just wasn't good enough for you.

Its okay...I'm use to it now, I tell a person there special and then they go away...Its okay...No, No, don't try to explain, I don't need one. I know you are popular now and sometimes that fame can make you do crazy things and make you forget about the people who care about you most, Its okay though.

So go on your walks with the "other" guys... I don't mind...I'm use to being alone and neglected anyway. I will just sit here and listen to my thoughts for myself and have no one to share them with...Its okay.

Go ahead and laugh at their jokes and smile at their words, Like you use to do with me so, so, long ago...I guess I only have me to blame...

I hope you will still say "hi" to me once in a while, If you should ever bother to pass me in the street or see me alone somewhere...By myself...all alone...with no one...lonely, sad, and not walking with anyone.

But I don't want to trouble you... Especially since I have no one to play games with anymore, No one to teach me...No one to challenge me...No one to lose to.

I will try and be happy for you, You are moving on to better things, I just hope in some small way...whenever you look back on your life and remember all those happy memories you will have created with the "new" and improved guys that you will somehow remember me...But its okay if you don't, I know I'm not that rememberable.

You can still use me for music if you like...Its okay, I wont mind. Its better than being lonely...I wish I could be popular too so maybe someday you might be my friend again. I can only dream...

Wednesday, October 12, 2005 3:12 PM
She said: .....Oh really?...you still the special one (I think?). Anyway, next week I promise I will take you to dinner...ooops forget dinner. I can't...I'm working how about in the morning? Will you like to walk with me to see the sunrise? It is so beautiful in the morning. The other day I went for a walk in the morning and see the sunrise. It's breath taking....so there...... Stop being a cry baby!

Wed, 12 Oct 2005 22:25:57 -0700
He said: So you want to "pencil me in" for next week huh? I'm on the swing shift (1:30 pm - 11:00 pm) until at least Sunday. Its up to you If you will have the "time" for me with all your "other" activities...We'll see if you bother to show up. I'm sure something (or someone) MORE IMPORTANT may come along... But as I said before...Its okay, I'll Understand.

Thursday, October 13, 2005 2:06 PM
She said: hmmm...cry baby! By the way I have the CD. I will bring it with me to work if you give me the day . It is 1200 am...I am so tired....going to bed now...

TO BE CONTINUED....

Six Sense

Your emotions and feelings...I still feel them...even when you are miles and miles away from me...

Half an Hour

If I lose thirty minutes, it would ruin my schedule for the entire day...everday. Inspite of it all...I still have the time to see you...same time, same place...

Meet Me Half Way

Your silence is killing me...
sadness and angry in you, I see...

How could I explain to you...
that I care and love you...my love, only you...

How could I make you believe...
that moments of us together in my heart...live...

You measure my love by the moments I spend time with you...
little time with you...baby, it is life time for me...with you...

Reflection

...I see you on the mirror...instead of him...

I Wonder

Such feeling of lost...
during that time...he, I care the most...

I gave the best I could...
attention, affection and love...but now, I would no longer hold...

For someone took his place...
I thought, he could not be replaced...

For a world with him...
...it is to hard to explain...

I think of him once in awhile...
...I am so thankful that someone took my place when he was mine...

Thinking of You

Destiny

Sitting on the sand next to each other watching the sunset and sunrise...the evening walk... our laughter...playing silly jokes...reading all my writings...remember those my love...it is for you and only for you...

I know the time will come I could no longer say those meaningful words for you...when I could not no longer write about "us"...when the time when I could no longer give you warm embrace and kisses...and when the time I could not longer by your side...

Please remember those precious moment of us my love, for I could not be with you again. I want to be with you forever, and its hurts me so much leaving you behind but I have not control of my life...so let us enjoy what time I have left.

All the letters I wrote for you and only for you my love...remember those meaningful words I always say to you...and remember, I still with you even when I am gone...

Time

I wish I could freeze the time...
just to be with you all the time...

I wish I could turn back the time...
the time...when you were mine...

I wish I could feel the feelings I had for you a long, long time ago...
but I could not...for all I have now belong to someone new...

You are the Best

My long hair, everyday you washed...
you dry it, you comb it which from you I never asked...

Before I go to sleep you brushed my hair with your hand...
and rubbed my back with other hand...

You giving me warmth everynight...
your body next to mine...with you, I feel alright...

In the morning when I open my eyes...you, the only one I see...
smiling at me...looking at me...a wonderful kiss...just for me...

Everyday I tell you that I am the lucky one...
but you always insist and say to me..."No, sweetheart, I am the lucky one..."

Our World

To the world... our love, we will show...
on top of the hill...our love will grow...

A castle we will build...
...a kingdom to for us and only us...we will build...

Towers as high as the sky...the world will see...
...whoever attempt to take your place...there will never be...

High stone walls separated us for the world outside...
...whoever ever tried destroy us...there will be no place to hide...

Brave warriors guard the castle day and night...
...ready to face the enemy...ready to fight...

To the world... our love, we will show...
A castle...on top of the hill...where our love will continue to grow...

The Story Teller

Playing with words...
the same old words...

Telling story everyday...
the same old story everyday...

Capturing memories...
the same old memories...

Reaching to the past...
...hoping it will last...

Hold On

I could understand what you are going through...
unbearable loneliness when you lost someone that you love so true...

You have to be learn to embrace challenges in life...
the constant changes...you have to learn to fight...

Yes, someone took your place...someone new...
don't you think perhaps...that life with that someone...is not really for you...

Be thankful now for you have...
for someone is taking your place...a world you suppose not have...

There is a new world...a world where you belong...
your wait...I am certain... it will not be that long...

Not Myself Today

The unknown I tried to find...
feeling so ssssssss

This reaccurring dream is draining all my strength today...I am not feeling well...

Nothing Matter

You read and see everything,
and yet you said nothing...

You never question or ask me about anything,
and but the way you looked at me reveals your pain...

You hold me so tight as if it will be our last,
willing to let me go whenever I asked...

To you nothing matters...
as long I come home and be with you...

To you nothing matters...
as long as my love is for you and only you...and not to others...

Trust

Overwhelmed with negative emotions often distort the perception of reality. Trusting someone to stay focus sometimes is the only way...

Sleep Depreviation

By te way...you lost! You will be heading South tomoroww... I prfer Pepsi...at the parking lot...sam plce...same time...dont be latte...

With work, skool and other comiments files up for tha day, I still man aged to have time for you. Dont worry about me...I have plenty of slep...not havng enouf slep does not affect me in any way...so, se you tomorw...

Jelousy

My love, why are you so sad?
please do not apologize...don't feel bad...

Why do you feel so lonely?
sweetheart, I never left...please be happy...

The truth is I am here for you... to be with you...
you are my everything...the one and only one I truely love...

Again and Again

"So what flavor would you like?" he asked.
"Vanilla, strawberry and chocolate," she replied back.

"oh my god, that is cold! It is all over!" she said loudly
"Dont worry I will clean it up..." he whispered.

"Really? How?" she asked sarcastically.
"I promise you sweetheart...you will not be disappointed" he told her.

"Did you hear that? The dryer...think our clothes are dry...should I get clothes now?" she asked.
He raised his head, looked up towards her, smiled and said, "No,... I just started..I haven't done yet sweetheart...you will get your clothes in a couple of hours...".

I Will do Anything for You

You often ask me what do I look like...so here is my picture...I am sorry to disappoint you but I am not as pretty as the one you are looking at...

The Lucky One

You gave me everything you have,
and I returned it all back...

You showed me your weaknesses,
I took it all and used it to my advantage...

You gave me all your love,
but nothing from me for you to have...

For I am afraid you will find out what truely I felt inside...
How I really wanted you by my side...

For I found happiness in you...
absolutely, I will stay and be with you...

For true love on each other...you and I, found...
you just did not realized, you are the lucky one...

I will give all my love for you...
even my life just to prove that I am sincere and my love is true...

Alone With You

I brushed my hand on you hair until you fall asleep...
then, I touched your eyes...your nose and gently gave you kiss on the lips...

I moved closer...closer to you so your body next to mine...
then, I watched you closer...many sinful things cross my mind...

I slowly held your hand and guided it towards my face...
then, I put closer so I could gave your hand a kiss...

I gradually moved so close to you that my lips touching you neck...
I blew my warm breath...gave you a kiss...for sure this time you will be awake...

The Poem

"She is finally here!" he said. He could not wait for her any longer so, he run towards her. He was about to give her a kiss and a hug but he noticed she seems disturb, distrout...so sad...that she just passed by him without saying anything.

He rushed infront of her and asked her again "Sweetheart, what's wrong?" and once again she remained quiet. Her head was down and tears rolling down on her face. Then, she took a piece of paper inside her purse, and she started to cry uncontrollably...

"What is the matter sweetheart? talk to me..." he asked her the third time and once again she did not answer him or even look at him.

"Here is the poem as I promised...I missed you so much baby...I love you..." she whispered.

Before he could say something to her, he was shocked, horrified and disbelief when he saw a piece of paper and he was quite certain that the poem is for him. He screamed in anger the gradually cried...he now realized...now is the first time to hear all the poems that she wrote that kept for years....

Sobbingly, she reads the poem...

You are the only one,
I dream, I love...

I will always be here for you,
to show how much I love you...

All I have is your memories,
in my heart...you still have a place...

Now, that you are gone,
I am alone...but you and I still one...

As I promised you,
I will continue to write and read the poems for you...

and I promised you...
everyday I will be here to visit you...I love you...

After reading the poem, she kneeled down light up the candles and place the flowers next to his name which ingraved on marble that was placed on the ground...

The Promise

"My heart belongs to you and only you..." you said and promised,
to hear that, I was flattered and overwhelmed with happiness...

"Never will I look to another women...never " you said and promised,
I was listening completely...then suddenly, I was into tears...

This time my feelings turned to sadness,
I just then realized...your promises does not bring me happiness...

What is coming from your heart matters so much to me,
your thoughts and feelings...all those things...I wanted to see...

Time

I dream of you lastnight...

The Dance

You are happy,
I am angry...

You wanted to go,
I would not let you go...

While, you found someone,
I still looking for that special one...

I am happy,
You are angry...

I wanted to go,
you would not let me go...

While, I found someone and so are you,
we still looking for that special one...and the search continue...

The Travelers

"Could I sit next to you?" a brown eye, handsome yound man asked
"Sure," she replied back.
"Where are you going?" he asked again.
"Where am I going?..oh, to the very last town that this bus could go," she replied.
"I have not seen that town yet, could I come along with you?" he asked her again excitedly.
She gave him a smile and said, "sure..."

After an several hours the bus stop at the first town...
"I will be in a moment, I will just take a look at the town..." he said to her.
She looked at him, did not respond at him, and she continued her sleep.

A minutes later, he came back, woke her up and said goodbye.
"I am sorry, I could not go with you...where you going takes too long...I think I will be happy to live in this town..." he said sadly.
She tried to smile at him, gave him a kiss and said goodbye...

Then, the bus left without him.
"Excuse me, but did I know you from somewhere before?...could I sit next you?" a curly short hair, blue eye, good looking young man asked.
"Sure," she replied back.
"Where are you going?" he asked again.
"Where am I going?..oh, to the very last town that this bus could go," she replied.
"Could I come along with you?" he asked her again excitedly.
She gave him a smile and said, "sure..."
After an several hours the bus stop at the next town...

"Aren't you going to see the town?" curiously, she asked him.
He looked at her in the eyes, he gave her a kiss and said "No, I rather stay with you and be with you...if you don't mind?"

Honesty

Not to hurt someones feeling, you prefer not to say the truth,
I disagree with you because at the end people around you will get hurt...

Being untruthful, whatever is your intentions, it is deliberately cruel,
often, misunderstood by the people who does not you well...

Move on to your life without honesty,
who would be around you? who will be next?...certainly, it will not be me...

You are Always Mine

You looked at me with your sad eyes,
wished me the best...gave me a kiss, then said goodbye...

You gave me million of reasons,
I understand, I do not need your explanations...

Now, out of my life forever,
I never regret having you in my life...never...

Now, you are completely gone,
I am not sad because I know...you still mine...