Special Place

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies." --Aristotle

Again, I am overwhelm with joy to see his face, to hear his voice and to feeling his touch. Happy and content just to be with him. I wish this will last. This is the place a want to be, he and I, together forever. A place where I could relive the past with him over and over. This is the place I go everytime I close my eyes.

The Shadow

As I closed my eyes that night, right away I drifted into a deep sleep. I started dreaming of a familiar place and a presence, presence of a strange. I felt I had this dream before, and once again I tried to wake up, but it was too late for my dream had already begun.

As the shadow walked in, immediately, my room was swallowed by complete darkness. Horrified, I desperately struggled to get up and get away but I could not. Then without warning, the shadows' power striked my entire body with full force. Gradually, I felt my body was floating, spinning and falling endlessly to emptyness, and finally I gave up, allowing the shadow to take me into the deepest darkness world of eternity.

Finally, I woke up and glad the night was over. As I looked myself on the mirror, to my surprised, a mark on my face shows of a struggle. In tears, I realized that night was not a dream after all.

For You

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." ---Helen Keller

Even if I am with someone else, I will always love you and continue loving you. It is not a promise, but its how I feel about you deep in my heart...

Behind the Sea Wall

Once upon a time in a far, far, far away dessert land, brave warriors from various kingdoms joined forces to fight the fire-spitting, fast flying dragons from the North. Afraid that the dragons could turn the land into ashes, a high tower and a sea wall were built to keep on eye and to prevent the dragons from entering through the water. From the neck-braking tower, night and day, warriors waited patiently for the return of the dragons.

One latenight, a young handsome man and lovely woman met while walking on the top of the sea wall. Instantly, they both fell in love. Though it was forbidden, they continue to see each other and kept it secret from everyone. Everynight, they secretly meet behind the sea wall. They often laid down on top of pillars shared their thoughts, feelings and created unforgetable moments together.

Days, months passed by, then all of a sudden one night, the sky was on fire, dragons from the north emerged and light up the dark sky. And the battle began...fire with fire... eventually, after hours and hours of fighting, the battle ended. Eventhough brave warriors fought and killed all the dragons they still lost the battle, for two lifeless bodies found behind the seawall. Unfortunately, for the two, their happiness came to an end. Sadly, the kingdom mourned for days for the two lovers. Their ashes was spread through out and became part of the sea wall to remember them by.

After the death of the two lovers, people claimed to hear a womans cry, weeping for the lost love one, behind the sea wall. they believe it is her spirit keep going back to the place where she last saw her beloved one. Others said that when the water is calm, you could actually hear their voices echoed into the dark quiet night. Some even believe the two lovers did not even know the they had already died and continue seeing each other as if they were alive, and others said when it is full moon, the when the sea blow cool breeze on the shore, and when a little misty late at night, you might actually see them...if you go behind the dark side of the sea wall...

Losing Someone

Perhaps this will be my last entry. There are so many things that are going on im my life right now, and I am not sure whether I could keep up or know how to cope with it. Losing two special person in my life is too much for me...I love them both...I wish I could find a hiding place and stay there for a while until all these turmoils subside and completely gone...

Misunderstanding

From a distant, I saw him sitting in the porch waiting patiently for me. As I waved at him, he gave me the sweetest smile and waved back at me. I was so pleased to see him, I could not wait to give him a big hug, and be with him all day today.
As soon I got closer to him, he gave me a kiss and asked, "So what did you yesterday?"
I replied back, "I went house haunting, went shopping for work cloths and bought my school books."
He held my hand and whispered, "Sweetheart, I have a surprise for you. Lets go inside the house and I will get it."
I think I know what it is, uncomfortably, I followed him inside the house. While he went to the bedroom, I sat down in the sofa and turned the TV on. For a brief moment, he came out, came towards me, opened his hand and showed me the most beautiful ring I ever seen. It has a flower design. His name and mine were engraved on the ring.
"So, did you like it? Put it on see if it fits on your finger" he said anxiously.
Sadly, almost in tears, I asked him, "Is this a symbol of us? or Is this about replacing the ring that I already had?
Surprised and annoyed, he answered, "What are you talking about?"
I thought he understand and respect everything I told him the other night? About the ring and how important for me. Instead we were back again in the same situation two days ago.
Disappointed, I gave him back the ring and I said sadly, "Maybe this is not the best time for this."
before he could say anything, I embraced him tight, kissed him and said goodbye. Then, I turned around and walked out the door without looking back at him.

Realization

Silence echoed in the room as we layed on bed. Frustrated and confused, I gave him one more look, then I got up and went to the living room and laid down on the couch. As looked at the ring on my hand, I have to decide sooner or later whether him or the ring. I felt so much pain, unbearable pain inside me. I asked myself why things have to end like this? As I closed my eyes, I searched for answers. Then of all of a sudden, I felt him on top of me. His whole body pressed on mine, and his hot lips touched mine. I opened my eyes, and the only thing I see is his gorgeous blue eyes. Finally, the moment had come, the moment that we have been waiting for, letting our feelings free. As I closed my eyes and experience the wonderful things with him, I felt his passionate kisses and touches, I could hear voice and I could see his brown eyes...I could see familiar places. I had been there before, with him. A place where we shared and created precious moments together. Eventhough I will never see his brown eyes again, I just then realized, and for certain, he is the man I truely love.

Silence

While playing chess, he constantly looking at the ring on my right finger as I move the pieces.
With great concerned, he asked, "Who gave you that ring? Him?"
Nervously, avoiding his question, I said, "It's your move."
Sadness written all over his face, he knew I was not going to answer his question. Without saying anything, he got up, walked outside and sat on the porch. Not knowing what to do or say to him, I remained seated few minutes, then joined him outside after. I could tell that he was also frustrated because I was not ready to discuss my past with him yet. With nothing to say, I kissed him on the cheek and said goodbye.
With a depressed look on his face, he grabbed and squeezed my hand and said, "I will be waiting for you tomorrow."

Thinking of Him

I wonder if he still remember our first walk? Our first kiss? How about the incredible nights we spent behind the sea wall? Or does he just pushes all these memories aside and move on to his new life?

Does he still remember our hiding places? The roof? The beach house? The movie theater? The computer room? The truck(s)? The empty tent? The bushes? The tower? Or does he decided completely for forget all these wonderful memories.

Does he really loves me when I was with him then? Or I am just happen to be a "convient" for him at that time?

The short time I spent with him was a gift for life. He and I had an amazing and incredible memories together. No matter what reasons he had for having me in his life, I will always cherish those intimate moments with him forever, and there is always a place for him in my heart...and I still love and continue to love him for the rest of my life...

Crossing the Line

We went for a walk to the nearby park, and I teached him how to play chess after. Physically and mentally exhausted that day, we rested on his bed. A few seconds later, he was in a deep sleep. I brushed his wavy hair, and he did not respond. Definitely he was out. He looked so peaceful. I enjoyed looking at him his face, his nose, and lips. So many things cross my mind while I watched him asleep. One of them was the temptation of to giving a him a kiss on the lips, but I hesitated. Instead, to avoid from happening, I carefully and quietly got up, but before I could walk away, he woke up. He lifted his head slightly, looked at me, grabbed my hand and asked me if I could lay down next to him for a few more minutes. Without hesitation, I rushed next to him. Laying on bed, facing each other, without saying anything, and by just looking to each others eyes we were certain our feelings toward each other. We supressed both our emotion, afraid to explore what's beyond friendship because both of us were frighten to take that chances of losing each other at the end.

The Evening Walk

Even now, I still think of him. I am dying to see him...to see his brown eyes...to listen to his voice...but I know that it will never happen again so, I wrote "The Evening Walk" just for him...

Alongside the water, two shadows were walking hand in hand. The tide crept in, erasing the footprints in the sand, as they walked by. Their laughter echoed everywhere, but no one could hear. This is what they have been waiting for, to seize the moment of being alone together, sharing a memorable night with each other. As he faced her, he held her right hand and gently slide the ring to her finger.
"I am giving you this ring. A promise to give you the world and to give you love that will last forever," he said to her.
She held his hand tight, smiled and replied, "And this is for you." she continued, "this ring is for you to keep. It symbolized our especial friendship and commitment to us forever."
They were both certain about their feelings for each other. He put his arms around her, as they continued their memorable walk. The beach curved away into the darkness, and the two shadows gradually disappeared.
"How long until the moon rise?" she asked
He replied back, "not much longer,"
As they reached the end of their walk, they could hear from a distant the sound of water crushing into the rocks. They watched and listened one more time, as another wave crashed against the nearby rocks; then, their shadows completely disappeared in to the darkness

The Skirt

My blue pants was fully of stain after an "ice cream fight" game that evening, so I went to the bathroom and changed. When I walked out, I saw him sitting on the couch with a surprise look on his face when he saw me.
"Is something wrong?" I asked.
"No, I just like what your wearing." he replied.
"Oh, this...black long sleeve top and a skirt...you like it? Too short?" I mumbled as I looked down to check the length of my skirt.
Astonished, he said, "Not too short...Yah I like it, you look great with that skirt... and I like your Hawaiian necklace too."
I was pleased he likes the skirt, for a second I thought he was disappointed. The entire evening was all about he and I. We talked, laughed and did others silly things, and it was quite remarkable and fun night. Thanks for the skirt.

Question and Answer Night

The night was so perfect to be with someone who is so capable of offering true friendship. We were sitting in the porch and talking a lot of things then, unexpectedly, the conversation changed. His blue eyes so focused on mine as he was bombarding me with questions...

"You seems occupied, what is wrong?" he asked
"Nothing...," I answered back
"Did you see him today?" he asked again
"Yes, not only I took care of the pictures, we also ended our relationship whatever it is, today too." I said sadly.
Concerned, he asked again, "Are you still going to see him in the future?"
"I dont think so..." I replied. "I did not get my ice cream though as he promised..." I jokingly added.
He brushed my long black hair with his hand and looked at me in the eye and said, "Why dont you get your sweater and I will get my jacket. I am going to take you to the ice cream house, and I promise you will have the best ice cream in your life."

Then, he wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we walked inside his house.

The Mystery Man

The first time I noticed him was when I was working in the yard. He drove by my house everyday with his white chevy truck on the way to work every morning, and he slowed down as he passed by my garden on the way back home in the afternoon. "He must like my garden like others," I told myself. As days gone by, I noticed he was not interested in my garden, instead he was interested in me. Finally, he caught my attention when his glance and secret look became frequent. Everyday, I was looking forward of seeing him driving by, and I became obcess to know who is this "mystery man".

A year later, I never forget the day...I was driving back home from the gym that morning, as I made a left turn to the main road toward my house, I noticed a truck, a white chevy truck approching from the opposite direction. My heart was pounding so hard because I recognized the truck. Almost at the same time, we both slowed down. Excited to see who is this "mystery man. I looked at the driver, who was already looking at me. He gave me a friendly smile. In shocked but overjoyed, I smiled back at him. For a few seconds I noticed his handsome face and weavy big curl hair. Then, we both continued driving in the opposite direction. As soon I got home, I took a shower, and Half an hour later, while I was putting my clothes on, I heard a dog barking from my drive way. Curious, I peeked through the window. I was surprised! It was him and his dog walking back and forth near my house. Excited, I rushed outside and there he was infront of my drive way, waving his hand and smiling at me. Nervous but eager to meet him, I walked towards him, and he introduced himself to me...I was hipnotized by his blue eyes...and thats how I met the man of my dream...

Memorable Moments

Memorable Moments: Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve...the flickering candle ligth illuminated every corner inside of the back of the truck. White linen sheet was spread and laid on the floor. All we had was a box Cracker, squeezable can-cheese, Apple cider, paper cups and napkins. But our evening was perfect because we had each other. While listening to christmas songs, we lie down and keep each other warm. He looked at me in the eye, with his beautiful brown eyes, full of passion and love. That night, feelings were shared, and memorable moments were created...

The Ring

The Jewelry box, the beautiful bracelet, and the custom made necklace, that he designed, and the sweaters that he bought for me, always reminds me of the wonderful memories I shared with him. Today, I am putting them all away except for the promise ring which I wear everyday. His attractive brown eyes assured me that I am the only one, and that we are going to be together for life, yet he is with someone else. Mentally exhausted and emotionally devastated thinking of him, I forced myself to function each day without him. As I promised him, I will always wear the ring, and hoping that someday those promises that goes with the ring will come true, and when the day finally come, I hope it is not too late to bring back the love that I used to have for him...

Illusion

When I was looking at his face, for a quick seconds, I noticed his handsome face gradually changing. His blue eyes gradually turning brown, his big loose curly hair slowly getting straight and short, and his bushy eyebrows becoming thinner and narrower. As I looked at him one more time, a new face emerged. I know that face... that familiar face... frozen solid, I felt pain. I was looking at the familiar face, which I am certain, I will never see again. Tears rushing down my cheek as I turned my face away, and when I turned back, the familiar face disappeared Instead, the handsome face with the blue eyes was back, and he was looking at me.